Question
i have one question:
i have a 3 year old and a two year old mashalah. the two year old is very stubborn,moody, cries alot, she has a bad temper, she will bite her sisters and pull their cheeks or hair. could you advise what to read sura or dua to improve this. please pray for her/us.
Answer
Muhtaram / Muhtaramah
In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāh wa-barakātuh.
At the outset, you should understand that children by nature are mischievous and naughty. One cannot expect children to conduct him/herself like a grown up adult. Child psychiatrists suggest that a naughty child grows up to be more bright and active than those children who are quiet and reserved. There is no point in beating the children. Allow them to grow out of their natural habitat and that will assist them to become wise and active adults. Restricting the children and continuously admonishing them in their childhood limits their thinking skills and restricts their insight into matters.
We have heard from seniors that a naughty and active child turns out to be an intelligent teen when he/she grows up. The mischief stimulates the mind of the child thus increasing the mental capacity of the child.
Often we find parents who lock their children indoors and seldom expose them to other children and/or outdoor activities. This damages the future outlook of the child and the child always remains cold and sulky. By allowing the child to develop into its natural childhood instinct, you are brightening the future of the child.
Therefore, there is nothing to be of concern. Allow the children to grow up and resolve their own differences. If they are fighting and arguing it is wise to sometimes leave them to develop their skills in conflict management. Do not break their spirit and morale as that is the fundamental tool towards the success of the child.
It is also important to nurture them with Islamic values and ethos. For this we advice that the book Fadail e Amaal of Hadrath Shiekul Hadith, Moulana Muhammed Zakariyya Khandehlawi be read everyday. This will create awareness in the children about the life of the Sahabah and they will aspire to follow them one day.
And Allah knows best
Darul Iftaa
Madrasah Inaa’miyya
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