Requisites of Repentance
There are three conditions for repentance to be accepted. The first is the feeling of remorse and regret at having committed the sin. This should stem from the depth of the heart. The second is to immediately cease committing the sin. The third is to make a firm resolve never to commit the sin again. If the sin is related to the rights of the creation i.e. a violation of their rights, a fourth condition will also apply, and that is to make amends for the loss caused, such as asking them for forgiveness or repaying what is owed to them. If these conditions are met, Allāh ta‘ālā will not only forgive the sin but erase it from one’s Book of Deeds.
Nabī sallallāhu ‘alayhi wasallam has said,
The one who repents from sin is like the one who has no sin.
When a sin is committed, it is witnessed and recorded by all the surrounding creations of Allāh ta‘ālā, such as the angels, the earth, the nearby objects and even the limbs of the sinner himself. They will all testify against him in the Court of Allāh ta‘ālā. Allāh ta‘ālā says,
Today we will close their mouths, their hands will speak to us and their feet will testify as to what they used to do. (36:65)
On the Day when their tongues, their hands and their feet will testify against them as to what they used to do. (24:24)
And on the Day when the enemies of Allāh will be gathered towards the Fire and will be restrained. Until, when they come to it, their ears, eyes and skin will testify against them as to what they used to do. (41:19-20)
However, once all the conditions of repentance are fulfilled, not only is the sin forgiven, but it is removed from the memory of all those who had witnessed the sin. Furthermore, Allāh ta‘ālā, through His Mercy, on many occasions, substitutes the sin with rewards. Allāh ta‘ālā says,
Except him who repents and believes and does righteous work; as for such people, Allāh will change their bad deeds to good deeds. Allāh is Ever-Forgiving, Most-Merciful. (25:70)
Training ones children to establish Salaah
The issue of training ones children to establish Salaah is a sensitive issue.
One should keep in mind that children are impressionable, and respond to affection more positively than they respond to harshness. Parents should advise the child to perform his/her Salaah in an affectionate and encouraging way.
A parent knows his/her child best. If there is a need to be strict and stern in order to instill something in the child, then sternness too should be adopted with careful measure. Do not be excessive in that, as this will lead to pushing the child further away, and will not help one to achieve the desired outcome.
Together with this parents should recite the following Dua abundantly:
رَبِّ اجْعَلْنِي مُقِيمَ الصَّلَاةِ وَمِنْ ذُرِّيَّتِي رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلْ دُعَاءِ [إبراهيم: 40]
Transliteration: Rabbij ‘Alni Muqeemas Salaati Wa Min Zurriyati Rabbana Wa Taqabbal Dua.
Translation: Oh my Rabb, make me one who is punctual on Salaah and my progeny as well. Oh our Rabb, accept this supplication. [Ebrahim:40]
Controlling your Nafs
A strong and intelligent person is he who strives to bring his Nafs under control and doesn’t succumb to the evil dictates of his Nafs.
Nabi Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said:
“ الكيس من دان نفسه، وعمل لما بعد الموت ، والعاجز من أتبع نفسه هواها، وتمنى على الله”
Translation: “An intelligent man is the one who supresses his Nafs (i.e. refrains from doing evil deeds) and does such deeds (that will benefit him) after death; and the foolish person is the one who subdues himself to his temptations and desires of his Nafs and puts his hope in Allah (that he will be forgiven)” (Tirmidhi)
The first step in bringing the Nafs under control is linking oneself with a spiritual guide/Sheikh. After identifying a spiritual guide, one should consult with him regularly and follow his advice.
Do not diagnose the spiritual problems yourself and practise on self-prescribed remedies. When the remedies do not work, you will get frustrated. This is similar to a person with a chronic illness who hasn’t consulted an expert in the medical field to help him diagnose the problem and get appropriate medication.
