Consoling a non-muslim

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Question:

Asalam alaikum

What words should we say to a non Muslim friend who lost their family member

As saying RIP and praying for them isn’t allowed

Answer:

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-Salāmu ‘Alaykum Wa-Rahmatullāhi Wa-Barakātuh.

It is not permissible to make dua for a non-Muslim after he has passed away. This is due to the explicit prohibition of this act in the Holy Quran. Allah Ta’aala says:

﴿مَا كَانَ لِلنَّبِیِّ وَٱلَّذِینَ ءَامَنُوۤا۟ أَن یَسۡتَغۡفِرُوا۟ لِلۡمُشۡرِكِینَ وَلَوۡ كَانُوۤا۟ أُو۟لِی قُرۡبَىٰ مِنۢ بَعۡدِ مَا تَبَیَّنَ لَهُمۡ أَنَّهُمۡ أَصۡحَـٰبُ ٱلۡجَحِیمِ ۝١١٣ وَمَا كَانَ ٱسۡتِغۡفَارُ إِبۡرَ ٰ⁠هِیمَ لِأَبِیهِ إِلَّا عَن مَّوۡعِدَةࣲ وَعَدَهَاۤ إِیَّاهُ فَلَمَّا تَبَیَّنَ لَهُۥۤ أَنَّهُۥ عَدُوࣱّ لِّلَّهِ تَبَرَّأَ مِنۡهُۚ إِنَّ إِبۡرَ ٰ⁠هِیمَ لَأَوَّ ٰ⁠هٌ حَلِیمࣱ ۝١١٤﴾ [التوبة ١١٣-١١٤]

Translation: It is not (permissible) for the Prophet and the believers to seek forgiveness for the Mushrikeen, even if they are kinsmen, after it became clear to them that they are the people of hell. As for the prayer of Ibrahim for the forgiveness of his father, it was only due to a promise he had made to him. Later, when it became clear to him that he was an enemy of Allah, he withdrew himself from him. Indeed, Ibrahim was very tender-hearted, very forbearing.

These verses were revealed after the passing of the beloved uncle of the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) who had been a pillar of support and affection for the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam. Having passed away without Imaan affected the Beloved of Allah (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) and this verse was revealed, informing the Prophet (Sallallahu Alayhi Wasallam) that despite the love and closeness you shared, once a person passes away without Imaan, it is not permissible to make dua for them. Allah Ta’aala also makes mention of the father of Hazrat Ibraheem Alayhis Salaam, who passed away as a Mushrik. Ibrahim Alayhis Salaam was soft-hearted in nature and wanted to make dua for his father, but when he was informed that this was not permissible then for the pleasure of Allah he restrained himself.[i]

As such, saying RIP (rest in peace) or any such word or statements that are considered to be a prayer or dua for the person is not permissible.

Consoling a non-believer is a sensitive issue. It is the duty of a believer to display a beautiful character and to be supportive at all times. Therefore, Shariah permits a believer to visit a non-muslim to offer condolences and sympathies without making any dua of forgiveness, mercy or peace for the deceased. In general, any form of condolences that are free from any religious connotation and that is not a dua would be allowed.[ii] However, it is often the case that the limits of sympathizing are transgressed at emotional gatherings which result in inappropriate statements being made which border on Kufr. It is for this reason Islam prohibits us from creating a very close relationship with non-Muslims to protect our Islamic values.

Our advice is to avoid visiting the homes of the non-Muslim deceased. A letter or message may sometimes be enough to express sympathy and offer condolence without saying anything that is inappropriate for a Believer. If one is compelled to visit, then one should confine oneself to merely sympathizing with the family and use the opportunity for Dawah. Visit and talk to them with the intention inviting this person towards Islam.

It is also mentioned that upon hearing the death of a Muslim or non-Muslim, one should recite إنالله وإنا إليه راجعون whilst pondering over how short and fickle the life of this world is and how everything must soon return to the The Creator. This should make us grateful for being blessed with the gift of Imaan and realize how we are deficient in inviting the Humankind to our Deen.[iii]

And Allah Ta’ala Knows Best.

Luqmaan Desai

Student Darul Iftaa
Pietermaritzburg

Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Muhammad Zakariyya Desai.

 

Consoling a non-muslim