Question
Due to my in-laws having some problems we made an emergency trip to South Africa. My husband stayed for approx 5 weeks and I am due back after Eid as my brother and mum will join me Inshallah. The problem arises here:
-2 weeks prior to his departure there was an outbreak of horse flu in Australia and him being a vet meant that he could not work (only do emergencies) and there were strict laws in force and a ban till a certain date (6/9) and authorities were increasing the ban date as they deemed fit,
-his ticket was to return back on the 10/9 and he did return despite us begging him to spend Ramadaan with us and esp his father since his mom is now in Cape Town temporarily. He himself said that he feared his dad might go into a depression etc as his all alone and there’s no one for him.
-his main reason for leaving was that he had loads of work to go back to regardless of the bans etc that were now not so strict. We were forced to agree as he said his behind with bills etc.
-this Monday is one week that he is there, his hardly been doing work and he now tells me that he is going for Umrah with a Jamaat of 4 brothers and his desire is to make Ihtikaaf in Madinah.
Am I justified to feel very hurt and upset as this was not his purpose of going back. He said he has no money (unless he lies to me reagarding money matters in our home?) and had to go and work thats why he left S.Africa?
Also i have never been to the holy land before (he has been twice) and would have loved to go as well with him. But he says im being selfish because its been his dream to make Ihtikaaf in Madinah.
Answer
Muhtaram / Muhtaramah
In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāh wa-barakātuh.
We appreciate your eagerness to be with your husband. This is a sign of a true mominah. Furthermore, love for the Haramain Shareefain is an intricate part of one’s imaan. Your desire to join your husband on this trip is justified.
From the information presented in your email, it is apparent that your husband has not violated any of your Islamic Rights. In principle he does not require your permission. However it would be from his good character (Khush Ahlaqi) if he consults you in this matter.
Also, from reading the information you have provided it seems that your husband is going through some stress and could be looking for a way to release his tensions. We would advise you to not take the matter as a serious one, and wait for his return. InshAllah he will be a rejuvenated person when he returns, which will be a means of goodness in your marriage.
And Allah knows best
Wassalam
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In’aamiyyah
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