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Date: Wednesday, March 07, 2012 |
Question
I have a brother who wants to marry a convert and she is not able to bare children. My parents are extremely upset and don’t want my brother to be without children. They really love each other and the only issue is the inability of the convert in having offspring. What is the best thing from them to do in this situation?
Answer
Muhtaram / Muhtaramah
In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.
As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāh wa-barakātuh.
We would like to commend you on your seeking guidance from the Ulama and upon your intention of advising your brother to practise on that which Islam desires from him. Remember; practising on the Deen can only bring one happiness and success.We understand the situation your brother is faced with. On the one hand, your parents are not happy with him marrying this woman and on the other hand he is in a sinful relationship with her and finds it difficult to walk away from the relationship.
For your brother to marry against the wishes of your parents will not be correct. This is tantamount to disobedience of the parents. Obedience of the parents is compulsory in all those aspects where the Shari’ah is not compromised. Hence, this issue is related to obedience of the parents. Disobedience to parents is considered to be a major sin in sharee’ah. [Bukhaari]
It is important for you to explain to your brother that your parents are his well wishers. They only have his best interests in mind. They are not strangers trying to harm him. They love him because he is their son. Therefore, they will never advise him insincerely. Together with that, they have more experience inlife.
It is always important to have the Du’aas and blessings of one’s parents. Many a times, people who are deprived of it land up having more problems and difficulties because time and again it has been witnessed that a marriage without the pleasure/blessings of the parents is devoid of Barakah (blessings) and happiness. In the beginning, Shaytaan may deceive one by creating the impression that everything is rosy but it is only when one is faced with impending pitfalls at a later stage in life that one realises that one had fallen for the trick of Shaytaan.
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam in clear words discouraged a Sahaabi from marrying a barren woman.
Ma’qil ibn Yasaar Radiyallahu Anhu narrartes that a man came to Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam and said: I have found a lady who is beautiful and hails from a good family, however she is barren. Should I marry her? Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam said “No!” He then came to Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam (and sought permission to marry this lady) a second time and Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam prohibited him. He then came to Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam a third time and Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam said: marry those women who have intense love for their husbands and who bear a lot of children for I will be proud of the numbers of my ummah in front of the other ummahs (on the day of qiyaamah). [Abu Dawood vol. 3, p 8 Darul Yusr]
The author of Badhlul Majhood has written that this hadith of Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam does not render marrying a barren woman as haraam. [vol. 7, p 587 Darul Bashaa’iril Islaamiyyah]. Nevertheless, it is evident that Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wa Sallam discouraged the marrying of barren women.
Imaam Nasa’ee Rahimahullah has narrated the aforementioned hadith under the heading: “The chapter with regards to the reprehensibility of marrying a barren woman” [Sunan An Nasa’ee with commentary of Allamah Suyooti Rahimahullah and footnotes of Allamah Sindi Rahimahullah; vol. 6, p 65 Maktabul Matboo’aatil Islaamiyyah]
Your brother should be made do understand that it is a great sin to have an illicit relationship. He should take courage and turn away from this great sin by firstly making Du’aa and beseeching Allah to help him abstain from this sin and secondly by thinking of the consequences in this world (unhappiness and more hardships in the long run) and the fire of Jahannam and punishment of the hereafter. He should also think and ponder over the great rewards that await him for abstaining from sin and leading an Islamic lifestyle. If he abstains and walks away from this relationship for the pleasure of Allah Ta'aala, He will Insha’allah open many good roads for him and he will find a loving, caring and suitable partner with the Du’aas of your parents. May Allah Ta'aala make it easy for him. Aameen.
We conclude by asking your brother to ponder over the following verse of the Holy Qur’aan; Insha-Allah, it will give him a lot of inspiration and assist him in making a favourable and informed decision:
“And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing that is bad for you. Allah knows but you know not.” [Surah Baqarah, 2:216].
NB.You have not stated in your submission what is meant by the lady being barren? Is it because she did not bear children in a previous marriage or that her sisters are barren? Sometimes doctors may say that a lady is barren but if Allah Ta'aala wishes that lady to bear children then none can stop His decision.
And Allah knows best
Darul Iftaa
Madrasah Inaa’miyyah
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