Should i go back to my husband?

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Ref no: 0089#

Date: Wednesday, May 04, 2011




Should i go back to my husband?


Should i go back to my husband?

Ive been seperated for 3 and a half years from my husband, he had treated me very badly and at the time did not want our marriage to work. i tried my very best for it to not come to a divorce anyway ive know tried to rebuild my life i had seeked alot of help from a councller and doctors.

he would not give me the divorce at the time so i went to the sheria court when they had asked ask both to attend the meeting we did, to my suprise he wanted to make our marriage even though i had not spoken to him for 3 and  half years.

we have been speaking to each oth for 3 months but i feel he is still the same person, he only thinks what is best for him and not me please can you help me, i dont know what to do should i go back or not? ive spoken to 1 councell member and he thinks he is trying to control me but i would disagree to some extent.

i did say maybe we can give it a go but he know seems not really interested please can you guid me i have been through so much that it effected my health! i dont think ive got the energy to go through it again i’m very scared


Muhtaram / Muhtaramah

In the Name of Allāh, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful.

As-salāmu ‘alaykum wa-rahmatullāh wa-barakātuh.


Jazakallah for writing to the institute regarding your difficulty in deciding the future of your marraige. Sister, it appears that you are getting two opposite messages from your husband. He told the shariah court that he wants to make the marriage work but you say that “….But he (k)now seems not really interested.”  Allow me to make a suggestion. Instead of contacting him again, contact the shariah court. You could perhaps make a list of the conditions under which you are prepared to go back to him. Since I don’t know what your problems were, I will make random suggestions.

If he was womanizing, you now make a condition that if he does so again, then you get a divorce. If he was not supporting you financially in any way, you stipulate what you would require to be able to run the house and not be dependent on others for help. If he was not working, you insist he should go to work everyday. If he was beating you up, you make a condition that if he hits you again, the marriage is over. If he was drinking or gambling, you make a similar condition. If he was subjecting you to emotional, verbal and psychological abuse, then you do likewise. Put down your conditions as to how you wish to be treated as you have suffered and you are now under doctor’s treatment. The court will contact him with whatever your conditions are before you reconcile, if that is what you want. It is then up to him to accept or reject your conditions. The Shariah court will back you up after that if he should default. This is a decision you have to make and we cannot tell you what to do. I think you will understand that it is best for you to make your own decision. May Allah Ta’ala protect, comfort and guide you, ameen.

And Allah knows best
Darul Iftaa

Madrasah Inaa’miyya



· The Sharée ruling herein given is specifically based on the question posed and should be read in conjunction with the question.

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