For Friends…

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Muhabbat! Love and affection! Rasulullah (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) has said that he desires no service for his progeny. His only desire is that we love them.

“Say thou: No reward do I ask of you for this save affection in respect of kinship.” S.42 A.23

Love (muhabbat) is an elevated and noble quality. It springs from the heart. True muhabbat has its source in the central depths of the heart, in the very core of the heart. True muhabbat is no ordinary thing but a very precious gift.

Hadhratwala related an interesting incident: A buzurg went to see another buzurg…

There is an old saying: “Kabutar ba kabutar, baz ba baz.”

Pigeons keep company with pigeons, hawks with hawks. A person tends to keep company with those of a similar temperament. [The English have put it thus: Birds of a feather flock together – Tr.]

The one buzurg arrived at the house of another buzurg. After salaam was made, the second buzurg enquired from the first, “What can I do for you?”

The first buzurg replied, “I am in need of 500 rupees.”

“Very well.” Without hesitation the second buzurg went and brought forth 500 rupees which he gave to the first buzurg, who thanked him and left.

The second buzurg then went back into his house. He went and sat on his bed and started weeping.

Wives are normally personal and informal, as they should be. Husbands and wives have a special intimate and informal relationship which allows them to talk openly to one another. What type of relationship would they have if this informality was not there? But, a pity and a shame! Hai afsos! In this day and age there are no men left – men in the true sense, whether they are husbands or noble heads of families. I have seen another age where the gentry consisted of noble men, and husbands were men of superb qualities. But times have changed, and this age is as different from that as the heavens differ from the earth.

It is a wife’s privilege to be personal and informal to whatever degree. Even if she uses the informal “tu” (you) instead of the respectful “tum” (thou) when speaking, she does it out of muhabbat. Dear servants of Allah, do not take her to be disrespectful and rude. Please bear in mind that Allah Ta’ala is addressed mostly as “tu”.

To continue: The wife saw her buzurg husband sitting and crying. She said, “Wah, mia! Wah! In unbridled enthusiasm (josh) you handed over 500 rupees. Now mia is greatly aggrieved, crying his heart out at losing 500 rupees! So why hand over the money in the first place?”

The buzurg replied calmly, “That is not why I am shedding tears.” The wife asked, “Then what is the reason?”

The buzurg said, “I have good cause for shedding tears: After my death I will be brought in front of Allah Ta’ala to account for myself. If Allah Ta’ala were to ask me ‘Why was it necessary for your friend to come begging at your door? Why did you not keep yourself informed of his circumstances, and go yourself to his house to assist when the need arose? Why did he have to come to you? If this is what I am asked, what answer will I give…?”

This incident was narrated to us by Hadhratwala. He used to discuss a wide variety of topics in his majlis, all connected with self-rectification (islah). Do not have the misconception that only dharb was discussed: “lllallah! lllallah!” and still louder “lllallah! lllallah!”

It is very easy to make zikr in this manner. It has a joy of its own. But be careful: immersed in the joy of your zikr do not increase the loudness of your voice. Your duty is to inform your sheikh of your enthusiasm and fervour. He will then use his discretion to increase, decrease or even stop the zikr. This is obedience (ittiba’).

Just look: Uways Qarni (radhiallaahu anhu), despite his passionate desire to see Rasulullah (sallallaahu alayhi wasallam), did not undertake the journey to Madinah without informing him and obtaining his permission. Incidents related about his great love for Rasulullah (sallallaahu alayhi wasallam) would amaze us. Yes, his restraint demonstrates what obedience really means.

[ extracted from ‘For Friends 3’; Moulana Maseehullah Khan Saheb]